Portal 2
Year: 2011
Developer/Publisher: Valve
Systems: PC, Mac, PS3, Xbox 360
I don't think anyone could have predicted Portal's success. It started as just an extra in The Orange Box, but caught on like wildfire, and it's not difficult to see why. Not only does Portal have some of the most fun, physics-defying puzzles I've ever played, it also features wonderful dark humor and is astoundingly quotable. In fact, the only real complaints I've ever heard about Portal were that it was too short.
Later on, the fans would complain about the other fans, because after after you've heard people shouting "The cake is a lie!" for three days straight, it becomes less funny.
The only logical step for the developers was to pull a Disney and make a second one. Unlike Disney sequels, however, this was actually better than the original. Okay, I'm probably going to get some flack for saying that, but consider this: they took what was good, and improved upon it. There were times when I actually caught myself laughing out loud. The second game haa a more tangible storyline, which only serves to make Aperture Science even creepier than it already is. What I find really interesting is that though there are several more characters in the second game (read: more than two), it still manages to capture Chell's isolation so completely.
Think of the first few minutes of gameplay. You are woken up by an overhead voice, learn some basic controls, and are sent back to sleep. When you next wake up, you are alone, you have no idea how much time has passed, everything in the Enrichment Center seems to be broken or overgrown...and there is not another living soul in sight. Only robots. When you finally do hear another human voice, it's a decades-old recording.
Maybe it's just me, but the more I think about it, the scarier I find it. It doesn't help that Cave Johnson is so out of his mind he puts Tesla to shame as a mad scientist. (I might get shit about that one, too, but Tesla never made a quantum space hole that could be used as a shower curtain.)
Year: 2011
Developer/Publisher: Valve
Systems: PC, Mac, PS3, Xbox 360
I don't think anyone could have predicted Portal's success. It started as just an extra in The Orange Box, but caught on like wildfire, and it's not difficult to see why. Not only does Portal have some of the most fun, physics-defying puzzles I've ever played, it also features wonderful dark humor and is astoundingly quotable. In fact, the only real complaints I've ever heard about Portal were that it was too short.
Later on, the fans would complain about the other fans, because after after you've heard people shouting "The cake is a lie!" for three days straight, it becomes less funny.
The only logical step for the developers was to pull a Disney and make a second one. Unlike Disney sequels, however, this was actually better than the original. Okay, I'm probably going to get some flack for saying that, but consider this: they took what was good, and improved upon it. There were times when I actually caught myself laughing out loud. The second game haa a more tangible storyline, which only serves to make Aperture Science even creepier than it already is. What I find really interesting is that though there are several more characters in the second game (read: more than two), it still manages to capture Chell's isolation so completely.
Think of the first few minutes of gameplay. You are woken up by an overhead voice, learn some basic controls, and are sent back to sleep. When you next wake up, you are alone, you have no idea how much time has passed, everything in the Enrichment Center seems to be broken or overgrown...and there is not another living soul in sight. Only robots. When you finally do hear another human voice, it's a decades-old recording.
Maybe it's just me, but the more I think about it, the scarier I find it. It doesn't help that Cave Johnson is so out of his mind he puts Tesla to shame as a mad scientist. (I might get shit about that one, too, but Tesla never made a quantum space hole that could be used as a shower curtain.)
"If you're allergic to peanuts, you may want to tell somebody now, because this next test may turn your blood into peanut water for a few minutes. On the bright side, if we can make this happen they're going to have to invent a new kind of Nobel Prize to give us, so hang in there." - Cave Johnson
Aside from the new story, there's a ton of new stuff to play with. Sure, laughing in the face of physics while you fling yourself from test chamber to test chamber is plenty of fun, but then things like the light bridges and gels are introduced--the sort of things that make you run faster, jump higher and hit harder. There's an all-new, ridiculously awesome co-op mode to puzzle your way through that lets you take control of not one, not two, but four portals! It's so much fun, you won't mind how frustrating it can get.
So, yeah, the sequel is great--one of those rare games that eclipses its predecessor by coming up with pretty much stronger everything: more story, more characters, more moments that keep me awake at night. Because, holy hell, GLaDOS.
I just want to say that video games tend not to scare me very much when I'm not playing them. I generally feel pretty well protected by the fourth wall. Even one of the most disturbing bosses I've fought doesn't really bother me, unless I'm dumb enough to play the dwarf bit in DA:O while alone at night. And when I started playing Portal 2, I knew that GLaDOS was going to be in the game. There's no way she could not be.
I do not like that woman.
Yes, that's GLaDOS being compared to a bound and gagged woman hanging upside down from the ceiling. The thing is, it's not just some crazy fan thing: GLaDOS's appearance was based on Botecelli's The Birth of Venus. Huh.
So, yeah, the sequel is great--one of those rare games that eclipses its predecessor by coming up with pretty much stronger everything: more story, more characters, more moments that keep me awake at night. Because, holy hell, GLaDOS.
I just want to say that video games tend not to scare me very much when I'm not playing them. I generally feel pretty well protected by the fourth wall. Even one of the most disturbing bosses I've fought doesn't really bother me, unless I'm dumb enough to play the dwarf bit in DA:O while alone at night. And when I started playing Portal 2, I knew that GLaDOS was going to be in the game. There's no way she could not be.
I say this how you can understand how utterly terrified I am of this character. Below, find an accurate description of my reaction when she awakes:
And I may as well just come out and say it: GLaDOS was the only video game character I've ever had a nightmare about.
...Don't judge me!
So what makes her so damn terrifying?
"Didn't we have some fun though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'no way' and then I was all, 'We pretended we were going to murder you'? That was great!"
I do not like that woman.
I've come up with a few broad categories that explain just what makes her so scary. First of all, it's pretty obvious that GLaDOS has not familiarized herself with the Laws of Robotics. Oh, and the fact that she's Robot God.
First of all, GLaDOS is omniscient.
She knows everything that is happening in the facility. You can destroy cameras and find hiding spots where she can't see you, but she is always aware of your movements. The only time that you are really free from her gaze is when you defy her, breaking out of the testing chambers in the first game or preparing to face her down in the second. It's not impossible to escape from her, no, but it is pretty damn hard, and you'll need to be quick, smart, and aware of everything to do it.
Secondly, she is omnipotent.
GLaDOS is life and death at Aperture Science. When you finally escape from her in the second game, it's only because she lets you. She often controls what resources you have available in the various test chambers and even determines your actions during gameplay. Like killing the beloved Companion Cube. (It's a box with a heart with it. It was sad when you had to burn it. Now can we please, as a fandom, move on?) She could kill you at any moment and simply chooses not to, because, well...
GLaDOS is cruel.
She tries to murder you and she killed everyone in the Enrichment Center (on the worst Take Your Daughter to Work Day ever) with a deadly neurotoxin for, as far as I can tell--shits'n'giggles. That's the technical term. And then there's all the emotional manipulation she subjected to who knows how many test subjects before Chell, culminating in the death of the Companion Cube. And that's just the first game. In the second game, things get worse before they get better. Then they get better, and then worse all over again. Because what's worse than a psychotic computer who, essentially, runs the world? A vengeful psychotic computer who is really fucking pissed at you.
Another thing of note: It seems like GLaDOS is the femme fatale of the game. Yes, that's kind of a weird characterization to attribute to a giant robot. But the minute she loses her morality core, her voice becomes smooth, less robotic, and definitely going into the realm of seductive. Oh, and then there's things like this:
 |
| There's a joke about hard drives somewhere in here. |
Yes, that's GLaDOS being compared to a bound and gagged woman hanging upside down from the ceiling. The thing is, it's not just some crazy fan thing: GLaDOS's appearance was based on Botecelli's The Birth of Venus. Huh.
That awkward moment when you remember that your mom reads your blog, and you just posted a picture like that on it.
So, there you have it: the single most terrifying video game character I've ever had the joy of playing with.
Even a good villain, though, is nothing without a protagonist to cheer for, and that brings us to Chell.
There's a certain amount of caution you have to take when analyzing silent protagonists. If you want to do it well, you have to make sure that you're not attributing your own traits to them. (This is one of the reasons why I believe the Twilight series is so popular--Bella is such a vapid character that it's very easy to put yourself in her shoes.) Even without speaking, though, you can at least glean a little bit about Chell.
First of all, Chell is crazy smart. It might take me twenty tries to complete a level, but in-universe, Chell only has one chance to figure out the puzzle without getting shot, vaporized, incinerated, drowned in muck, or lasered to death. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't last very long if I were a test subject at Aperture. Hell, I don't deal with 3D well enough in real life, even without a computer trying to murder me. There are some other small, blink-and-you'll-miss-it hints about Chell's intelligence, too: when you walk past the old potato battery science projects, you can see her name and the largest one there.
Along the same lines of Chell being scary smart, she's also resourceful. I'd like to think that people can be clever when their lives are on the line, but I think most of us would panic if we were trapped inside an aging laboratory with nothing to help us escape but a potato battery and a device that's hardly a weapon. It's not a lot to work with, really--so being able to use your enemy's tactics against them is freaking genius.
So: female hero who solves her problems by using her brains instead of brawn. The sexiest thing about her is probably her boots. Because, holy hell, those are some fantastic boots. A nice change for ladies in games. But there's one more reason why I love Chell so much.
You don't notice she's female.
I know how weird that sounds, almost contradictory to the rest of the blog. But there's no one making her prove that she's just as good as the guys. There's no one going, "You're a credit to women! Everyone knows that women have poor spatial relations!" There is never any reference to Chell's sex.
I find this absolutely wonderful.
I want to get a couple things out on the table before I go any further. I'm not one of those, "Men and women are equal at everything!" kind of people. On a biological level, men and women are just programmed differently. It's simply a fact of life. Take a stereotype we all know and, well...know: "Girls are better at reading than boys."
The reason behind this is because testosterone slows the development of the left hemisphere, hence, girls develop reading skills faster. But this is a broad generalization: there are many men whose language skills are better than mine, and there are women whose language skills are worse than mine. Biology shows us what tends to happen, but not what is true of all people. SCIENCE!
The point that I'm trying to get to (but somehow seemed to have wandered off from) is that, yes, there are differences between men and women that we can't do anything about. Unless you work for Torchwood, or something. But it doesn't need to be a factor in how we treat people. Chell's sex is never mentioned, and hell, most gamers forget they're playing as a woman. Portal 2 is one of the rare games where I feel there really is gender equality: because you forget all about it.
Tl;dr: GLaDOS is fucking terrifying, and it's perfectly reasonable if you have nightmares about her.
Image Credits:
Upside down GLaDOS originally found here: http://www.game-ism.com/2008/04/04/still-alive-shes-free/
Along the same lines of Chell being scary smart, she's also resourceful. I'd like to think that people can be clever when their lives are on the line, but I think most of us would panic if we were trapped inside an aging laboratory with nothing to help us escape but a potato battery and a device that's hardly a weapon. It's not a lot to work with, really--so being able to use your enemy's tactics against them is freaking genius.
So: female hero who solves her problems by using her brains instead of brawn. The sexiest thing about her is probably her boots. Because, holy hell, those are some fantastic boots. A nice change for ladies in games. But there's one more reason why I love Chell so much.
You don't notice she's female.
I know how weird that sounds, almost contradictory to the rest of the blog. But there's no one making her prove that she's just as good as the guys. There's no one going, "You're a credit to women! Everyone knows that women have poor spatial relations!" There is never any reference to Chell's sex.
I find this absolutely wonderful.
I want to get a couple things out on the table before I go any further. I'm not one of those, "Men and women are equal at everything!" kind of people. On a biological level, men and women are just programmed differently. It's simply a fact of life. Take a stereotype we all know and, well...know: "Girls are better at reading than boys."
The reason behind this is because testosterone slows the development of the left hemisphere, hence, girls develop reading skills faster. But this is a broad generalization: there are many men whose language skills are better than mine, and there are women whose language skills are worse than mine. Biology shows us what tends to happen, but not what is true of all people. SCIENCE!
The point that I'm trying to get to (but somehow seemed to have wandered off from) is that, yes, there are differences between men and women that we can't do anything about. Unless you work for Torchwood, or something. But it doesn't need to be a factor in how we treat people. Chell's sex is never mentioned, and hell, most gamers forget they're playing as a woman. Portal 2 is one of the rare games where I feel there really is gender equality: because you forget all about it.
Tl;dr: GLaDOS is fucking terrifying, and it's perfectly reasonable if you have nightmares about her.
Image Credits:
Upside down GLaDOS originally found here: http://www.game-ism.com/2008/04/04/still-alive-shes-free/
